Motorsports no SEIKAI >.<

2011-07-14T06:51:00.000-07:00

Everyone says that on the 21st year of your life...very special things will happen in your life...
and now i know what my present on my 21st year of my life would be...
a devastating, poverty, n poor life...a life where i can never reach the goal that i wish for...
the goal that i made...
it's sucks to be living for 21 years n yet nothing great come out of me...
all i can do is just sit back n watch as my family works hard while i can't do anything to help them...
all i can do is just watch...
i am helpless and i am an idiot to still holding believes about my goals n dreams will b coming true...
i wanna abandon all hopes n dreams now...i really wanna to leave this place at once...
i wanna restart my life...i wanna help my family, so that they will never suffer again....

i really wanna to have the ability to help not to watch as things go by...
i really sucks of being the eldest son in the family...
i really sucks at being a human being...i sucks at everything...

2011-05-08T07:59:00.000-07:00

It's been a while...i had pick up smoking once again n i wonder why is that??
I started out smoking when i was still a high school-er n stop when i finished high school...
Its exactly been a year i started smoking n a year i stopped but yet i started it out again...funny,huh?
I wonder why??because of my friend??because of i wanted to??or it was because of you??
I started it out when i was forced into a world of loneliness, a world where only darkness imply, none shall experience this yet i did...after that accident...
WHY!! I asked myself...WHY!!
I should be able to hold it off like i always do but why can't i let you go...no matter how time flies or how i try to forget...THERE WOULD A PIECE OF YOU IN MY MIND!!!WHY!!!
I tried to cry but it wouldn't work...my tears had long stopped flowing...
I tried to work myself out...my body is the only that tired out not my mind...
I tried to run...no matter when i go, there is still you...

Latter on i smoked...AH~what a relief...i found something which i could use as an excuse to get YOU out of my mind...
I know i am killing myself, i am committing suicide in a slow way...but YOU wouldn't stop hunting me...
Maybe it is not you, the reason i smoke again...maybe it was all along me who can't let go of things and still having beliefs that will not become true...
HAHA~i laughed whenever my mind came across with YOU in it...
I laughed is not because i found it funny but found it annoying, so annoying that, the only way to stop it is to laugh it out....

Ah..ah~maybe it was all me all along, to think that a person like me who possess both strong will n strong heart to start back smoking, is really something to laugh about...haha....

Despair

2011-04-01T20:27:00.000-07:00

I wonder how long had it been....that i am being left alone....n no one would actually called n say something to me...
I wonder how long had it been....that i am being stuck in my own emotions.....n no one would notice that...
I wonder how long had it been....that i fell into a no ending hole of despair....n no one would help me n save me....
I wonder how long had it been....that i realized i am only surviving on my own....n no one would be there for me

Despair is how i feel now,
Despair is how i live now,
Despair is now become my friend,
Despair is now the way i live in.....

The world that I live in is only Despair and Hopeless...
My so called friends, so called brothers, are just illusion for me,
When I really need a hand, no one answer...no one would ever hear from me...
I wanna talk about it, but I think its better for me to keep it with me...
Till the day I am no longer having a body, n became dust that roaming the world freely.....

I would not cry and I would not run away...even if i am all alone...
I would fight and I will win...even if I am all alone...
I would stand up everytime I fall...even if I am all alone...
I would...being despair...and still live my life as it is...

Even if I am all alone.....

2011-01-13T06:57:00.000-08:00

I can't promise that i can give u everything that u desire,
I can't promise that i can love u how your exes do,
I can't promise that i can give a life which u deserve the most,
I can't promise that i can be how you wanted me to, but;

I will give my only heart and only soul to u,
I will love you no matter how you complain,
I will give you a life which u live the happiest,
I will never make you become what you don't want to....

I promise I LOVE YOU...till the light fades,
I LOVE YOU...till the rain never touches the sea,
I LOVE YOU...till the sea dries...
I LOVE YOU...till my tears never drop....

2011-01-07T17:45:00.000-08:00

Someone had never been in love before...does he really qualify of giving advice in love??
Someone had never understand or appreciate any joke before....does he really qualify of listening to a joke?
Someone who like to make fun of other people while thinking it as a joke...does he really have the right to judge people?
Someone who has never been serious about something....does he seriously able to do everything?

these are the people i meet everyday and everywhere......

It's Cold Out Here

2010-12-10T05:16:00.000-08:00

It's cold...it is really cold here...the world is cold...i can't find any warmth in any place now....not even in my house....not among myself....all i can feel is cold....
i am now like a dead corpse waiting to rot..............
i am unimportant n useless anyway....no people would ever seek anything out from me....
i am just 'me' nothing more......
faking a smile.....while having a knife stuck into my heart..........

How pathetic i am,and;
how miserable i am,
no one would notice,
no one would ask,
no one would care......

do men cry???

2010-11-21T04:25:00.000-08:00

i have a question...'do men cry'??or is crying make a man look like a pussy??
i really want to...i want to cry till my heart burst,till my eyes drop...
is there a way to make me feel better?i want to run...run away from this miserable world....

Pressure is building up...i don't know how much longer i will be falling...
things i want to do...i want to have...is just a dream of mine...
can i really do it??
the dream i long for??
i scare that i will be to old to own those dreams of mine when i am able to...

I can't find any motivation to push thru now...
last time there was something to push me thru it
but now i have nothing...an empty shell of sorrow

someone...anyone...i hope the best of you....

what is this pressure???

2010-10-21T07:21:00.000-07:00

seriously...every time when i come back here...it will be all my sorrow n stuff...n it is because i treated blogger as a place for me to express what is inside of me....
Days had passed n gone...n my college started way back 2 months ago....n i din really do any good results in my studies...exams will be soon begin in another 15 hours...n here i am,being unable to do anything...study??no idea where should i start with...sleep?i can't,pressure is building...game???no mood for that....
The pressure is not only from my studies...it also from the bottom of my heart....damn...it's been so long,i still couldn't forget the incident happen in the past...what am i??a freak??DAMN!!! i didn't even talk with anyone with my problems except for my mother...n she couldn't anything for me either....n here i am just endure it all by myself....
Pressure is also building due to i am pretending to be what i supposed to be...maybe i have watched too much manga n anime these days...n now i am being more n more otaku-like...i can't really communicate well with ppl like how i could in front of the screen n phone....

Quote of the Day ~I am Screw Up~

life is misery

2010-08-29T07:50:00.000-07:00

as i said life is in misery....

2010-07-04T06:56:00.000-07:00

haih...darn it....still can't figure it out y am i so bored n lifeless....nah,just leave it...i guess when i am back to my college next week, i will get even boring....
i have been thinking y am i so insist on thinking on something which seems so far away from me n keep dreaming about it...is it because it really hit me n sunk into my heart or it is just a way for me to motivate my poor little soul??i wonder....
really...who would have think about something that is so impossible to happen n yet still having hope for it...maybe i am too stupid enough to understand the meaning of 'giving up'...i have a rock heart will n my parents n friends knew that....haih....i am stupid...stupid....
feeling sad for myself n also feeling tired...tired of keep making fake smiles...tired of keep trying persuade my dream...tired of doing things i hate to...just tired of everything now...feeling like want to lock myself from the world n stay lonely for a while...my dream seems so far away from me now...will i ever get the dream i dreamt for n will i ever never felt like this anymore???

it is really hard to do this alone...i know it yet i want to do it...this is so senseless...am i??

after so long,y am i still remember the incident i dun want to...y do i still keep dreaming about it??WHY!!!i shouted in my heart all the time...it hurt but yet it hurt even more when seeing my dream fade away....i hate this feeling...I HATE IT!!!i want it to go away....please///

It's a really lonely world here...with just only me n myself locking in the bottom of eternity....

2010-06-27T07:44:00.000-07:00

this is stupid...y do i still come back here?after so long n i thought i could've finally stop blogging n live a normal life...but it seems like only this place can allow me to fill the emptiness inside me....
there is this feeling again...what v called frustration is emerging from the inside of me...for few weeks now n i still can't be able to shake it off...why??i dunno n everytime when i try to figuring it out...my frustration builds....n it is getting worse n worse...i tried to cry but i couldn't...the tears wouldn't come out no matter how hard i tried...i tried to face it but it only brings pains to my heart n soul...i tried to run away but my logic is telling me that running away isn't the best way to fix thing....
currently my body is getting more n more tire...i couldn't really sleep at night n the work i been thru now is also an uhappy experience i get.....frustration is keep on building n building inside me...nothing can really change my mind now...everyday i face a lot of ppl...what i do is just making a fake smile in front of them while hiding what is really going on inside of me....
pathetic life leads a pathetic end...i don't want that to happen...right now i feel nothing at all...in this world nothing matters now...as long as i am still breathing...the world is still going on its own cycle....nothing matters....
many people asked me this no matter from what religious they are..."DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD?"
my answer would be,:"NO,BECAUSE I ONLY BELIEVE IN MYSELF N FATE,NOTHING ELSE"

2010-03-06T07:36:00.000-08:00

i can't believe after so long...i am still coming back here to write thing like this...i know nobody will read or explore but at least this is a place where i can release myself...
all this time,i have been thinking,am i being blessed or i am being a paranoid again?
i have cured from the disease,i have recovered from the incident,but still it seems like the cycle still goes on...
again i have this kinda feeling...i can't describe it n i can't tell anyone...it is a kinda feeling u would feel when u r feeling lonely n down,maybe its called the "EMPTINESS",i guess...so far i haven't achieve in my studies...i haven't had a decent job...i don't even success in anything...y am i here?i keep asking me this question...
i feel like i am so useless...some people might say "u r lucky because your parents are still with u,u have all what you need to survive in this world,u r lucky u get to go to school,u r lucky this n that" i just dunno what i want...
i dunno my real self very much...i feel like i am getting worse n worst to know myself better...what can i do?what should i do?stay away from this world n keep myself lock in a small box or stay as who i am.........
~A REALLY LONELY DAY~

Forcing a Smile Out of Depression

2010-01-13T06:20:00.000-08:00

I have been thru really rough days for a year now. I had this illness so called "Zhu Mou Dan" for a year. And feeling better for these few weeks after meeting with an old lady who is master in this.

Now my family is on a really hectic situation. One of my father's friends had owed my father for a lot of money which is now even asking us to lend her money, making us even more hectic. Not only one of my father's friend owed my father's money but a lot of them did too. Some were from business, some were personal reason. All of them giving excuses by saying they were broke but yet they asked us again n again to lend our money. What is the meaning of this?God has yet again to test our family and given us for another tough task.

My father now is really broke and being as his son, i really dunno what to do, i can't help but just standing aside watching both my parents suffer. Scratching their head out of idea to think of any possible ways to get our money back except by borrowing any other's money. I had asked a few shops whether they need any part time jobers but all were just empty hopes. Being the eldest son in the family, what can i do?what can i do to help my family?i think of stopping the college a lot of time, but now i can't even find a part time job not even talking about a full time job...

God is really giving our family a hard time and me a hard time. But this will not break our family apart, i had make up my mind to give my best to find a job n earn money from that until my internship starts. I hope my dear friends out there don't face problem like mine, hope for the best, think of the best, give out the best....

2009-11-25T02:27:00.000-08:00

i need to be the TOP DOG!!!!

2009-11-16T07:09:00.000-08:00

sometime...v just need a chance to make it big....

continue or drop out?

2009-11-08T04:27:00.000-08:00

i have asking this question to myself recently...should i continue my study or drop out from my college and work now?
since my dad's business is going on downpour and yet people is owing him tonnes of debts....what should i do? i really had no idea now...
everyday i keep a smile on my face so that my friends would not know that i am troubled,and until now i am still weak...i am weak...

2009-11-03T05:17:00.000-08:00

Time to reconsider what is important to me, what motivates me, and what mean everything for me in my life....
Time to wake up, time to think, time to work hard, in order not to regret for the rest of my life...
Never going to be my old self again, i will be stronger and stronger everytime i falls and fails, i will never going to repeat my mistake again, i am not my oldself, i am reborn...
I broke from my old shell to become the new me, right i am the new person...

2009-11-01T03:08:00.000-08:00

dream is a dream, nothing more than that, once u wake up from the dream, u are back to the reality and that's when u face everything real.......

damn...GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-10-27T03:55:00.000-07:00

DAMN!!!!GET OUT OF MY MIND ALREADY....just make it stop...i don't to torture myself anymore....i am trying another way to try to get u out of my mind....but i just can't because i had done so wrong...and making u unhappy...sorry...sorry...really am sorry....could u plz forgive me?
if there is a thing that can make everything change back to normal i would sacrifice myself for it, in order to make you to be happy again and not treating me so coldly....
i am just too weak to accept the fact that we can't be friend anymore...for so long, from the day we known each other.....until now, i can't lose a friend like you...please, would you please forgive me?i am really regret and here sincerely apologize to you....i am sorry..sorry

one day, i am going to be really....

2009-10-24T07:37:00.000-07:00

damn....i was traveling 140-150kn/h at federal highway with my father's aeroback iswara, but i can't feel the speed at all, i dunno whether i had used to it or just it bcause i am too daring...but what my instincts telling me is that to step more and more on the pedal, but my car's limit is only maximum 5k rpm and 150km/h, if i step more than that my engine will be blown...
mayb i was so influenced about wangan style or highway speeding, i really need start tuning up my car or just buy a potential car to tune it...but reality really sux, my family is going on a non-stop waves of problems, 1st is my father's job is going on a downslop, 2nd is my father's clients, they had a IOU with my father but they are not paying up, damn them, i hope i can help him, but i am studying, waking up at 5am everyday, i hope i can work at night but parents forbidden them, thinking of my study and my safetyness...i felt so useless
lastly, its my problem, my mind is still killing me with lotsa stuffs in it, my mind is just telling me about speed, modifying, cars, making me a total freak rite now....damn

Finally~

2009-09-29T02:35:00.000-07:00

I am a Fully Licensed Driver NOW!woohoo~which mean i can take that stupid "P" sticker off my car and drive as a Licensed Driver...Yeah~

lack of anything special or interesting happen in my life....

2009-09-14T04:24:00.001-07:00

man....really lack of any updates in my life...for example,i dunno what the hell is going on with people...
everyone i know is talking 2012,2012,2012...get the hell out of here...that will not going to happen though it said has a high chance...but really even though if it really happens,stop whining about it...die the just let it be...its a good thing to start all over again from the bottom up since this world is polluted enough...CO2,CO,CFC,thin ozone layer,green house effect...blah...blah...blah

=.=...+.+.....what the heck?!!

2009-09-06T03:27:00.000-07:00

*bish....i thought i am all cured after the biggest illness i got past few months,unfortunately,am not...
my little old friend visited me recently,making me so uncomfortable and ill...damn,i hate myself,maybe i am just so weak after all...

Lack of any Update Recently in my Life....

2009-08-30T21:33:00.000-07:00

sometimes i am thinking this to myself,why do humans exist in the world?what do we live for in the world?what is it?is it fight for what you desire?is it because you just want to live with the flow or just borned to do something big?i really don't know....but until today i know why am i born into this world,it's because i want to fight,i want to fight for my future,i want to dream,i want to dream for my future
although it is kinda stupid because of those words coming out from a mouth of a lazy,slacking people like me...haha,at the moment i am just a silly,stupid student...but i just need to work myself out,i will find a way to be success

A guy who is living in a Boring Life....

2009-08-25T04:01:00.000-07:00

going duller and duller day by day....feeling lost in my direction of my life...can't seem to have anything that can fire up my spirit....
boring life,boring life...when will this boredom leave me alone?
a lifeless soul is wandering around like me maybe can be my friend after all since i am dying without any exciting events happen in my life

2009-08-17T06:39:00.000-07:00

can i survive in a harsh environment like now?
i really have no idea....

2009-08-13T06:19:00.000-07:00

sometimes humans are really weak and sometime they can be strong...humans are emotional n complex...surrounded with emotions...cry when they are sad..angry when upset..laugh when v are happy,all these emotions are what making we weak yet because of these emotions v can feel what others can't and human are stupid sometimes...
doing something they are not capable of but yet tried and failed several times or even thousands of times n never gave up..
why is that?not giving up something u had tried for so many times...had fallen down to the ground for so many times...aren't they aware of it?it is impossible....but until today finally i know why human can be really strong...
it is because of HOPES and BELIEVES...what is stopping us to go forward is because v don't believe of ourselves...not believing that one day u can achieve this or that...and what drives our believes is our hope...hoping for a better tomorrow,hoping for better future,hoping for a better living,all of that is what hope brings to us....
right now i know what drives all the successful people into success is because what they hoping for what they believe in has made them a success...i hope i would be one in the future..
to all my friends..you too...believe what u believe,hope for what you are believe in.....

STUPID>.....BAKA NO BAKA HONTO NO BAKA!!!!!!!!!!

2009-08-12T06:19:00.000-07:00

stupid...damn...i have feeling that TOC is going backwards from the time being...damn...my college has came out with a really stupid policies....the new policies stated that if our students didn't wear a proper uniform or having a hair that is longer than your collar and your ears..you will b not allow to enter the college....GO TO HELL!!!We had paid 40 over thousands n yet v came here for these craps??!! if we are not allow to enter the college,is the college going to pay back what we lost?HELL NO!!!
and another issues is about a side door in our college...that side door only opens when it is raining and reccess,so that it will prevent students from stealling anything from the college...HELL YA!!!like i can't steal anything in the class and when my reccess started i can go out and put the goods in my car....it is really stupid,if i know who is behind all these,i will let him/her to have a piece of my..wait no...the whole college students' mind.....DAMN

can't breath....

2009-08-03T06:27:00.000-07:00

gasping for air....being troubled by a lot of things in my mind....maybe its time for me to put down my burdens and relax,but time doesn't allow me to do that,time passes every now and then,i cannot allow me to lose any minute or any second until my dreams is fulfilled....*gasping for air*

First time to have the chance to inspect a real life bmw in-line 6 cyl engine

2009-07-30T05:23:00.000-07:00

woohoo~today my instructor asked my team to inspect a bmw in-line 6 cyl engine,we were impressed first though but not after we stared at that engine for 1 min n not knowing where to start...our task is to inspect the resistance of the fuel relay,ignition coil,fuil injector solenoid,high-tension cable and also the spark plugs...
our instructor pointed out for us where the fuel relay was and we started to work after figuring out how the whole engine work and where all the components are....first,we dismantle the cover of the engine and found out it has a totally different design from what a carburetor engine looks like...it has a built in coil ignition for every single spark plugs n a very small compare to our conventional igniton system which has a distributor and an ignition coil but this one is a totally different category...we measure the coil ignition with a OhmMeter and it read approximately about 16kilo ohms for every ignition coil...
after that we started on the fuel injector coil,it was kinda confusing though cause there were many wires cover up the injector solenoid and its hard for us to reach too...haha..but we made it through though...haha...it was measured and read about 12kilo ohms for every fuel injector solenoid.....
finally we started on the fuel relay and also the spark plugs...my team was dissapointed after measuring the spark plugs because all of the spark plugs in the engine were spoiled,totally gone...*sigh...the fuel relay is even more complicated than what we thought it would be look like...actually inside a single relay box there are still a lot of different small components to be inspected...and every components had different reading but it suppose to have same readings but anyway sorry because i didn't take the picture of it..try to imagine of the engine for a moment...will be updated soon

tuning the carburetor

2009-07-29T05:41:00.000-07:00

finally i am be able to know how to configure and tune the carburator to the way i want...days ago i was asked to overhaul a carburetor and inspected it if there is any broken parts or so....after that i need to reassemble it back into the engine...at first,i started the engine but the engine back fired and stall,we tried a lot of time but failed,finally i came up an idea of instead blaming on other parts and people who had touched the carburetor,why don't we try tune the carburetor...and we had adjusted the air mix valve and also the idle speed screw...and u know what...the engine started and rev up to what we expected when we full throttle the engine...that was damn fun and that was my very first time to be able tune and overhaul a carburetor...haha

2009-07-26T06:04:00.000-07:00

Time continue passing,water continue flowing,
Weather continue changing,wind contine blowing,
but my love for you doesn't change.....

Tire...Tire...Tire...

2009-07-25T07:15:00.000-07:00

hah~finally having time to rest...for the past 2 days i had a real hard time...playing futsal all the time...n also i had joined the futsal competition that was organized by my college....today was the 1st match and right now my both hands and both legs are so damn tired...ah~

Student Council?

2009-07-21T05:46:00.000-07:00

my college is going to have an election on choosing student council from each classes in my college...and i was wondering i should volunteer my self to join in so that i get another extra bonus for my future job or day....but in the future i will be having less time for my family and friends since i will be staying in the college for most of the time...what should i do?join or not join?

Haih...finally

2009-07-17T02:33:00.000-07:00

it's been almost a week, i haven't updated anything on my blog....this week is most busy and stupid week for me....i hadn't sleep well for the whole week...busy on my assignment and my other minor subjects...damn having 4 days of full time classes and also with a bunch of worksheets to be finished,plus 3 major assignments??!!!ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH~~~~maybe its time to relax myself not to think of my worksheets and assignments....to all my friends out there no matter you are working or studying,keep up your work...no matter what happens don't give up,there is a will there is a way...will pray for all of your being....

Time's Up

2009-07-10T06:49:00.000-07:00

time's up to make up my mind,time's up to make up my decision....
forgive me for my selfishness....forgive me for my sillyness....forgive me for my stubbornness....forgive me for giving you a hard time....right now right here...i had made up my mind...sorry...let's be friend together,shall we?...i don't want to lose an important friend like you...for so many years we had been known each others and now i realised i had done wrong...i had done something really wrong...sorry...am here apologise....sorry...could we be friend again?

Two Major Events Undergoing

2009-07-09T23:29:00.000-07:00

What The Heck!!!!am i going crazy or really that active in college?i had just joined two major events that was held by my college....one was eco marathon and the other was a classice car racing competition...haha...damn i had no idea what will happen to my future studies n classes....but i think i can handle it...after all its all about what i like....HAHA...

You Are Not Alone...-MJ

2009-07-08T05:46:00.000-07:00

You Are Not Alone lyrics
Another day has gone
I'm still all alone
How could this be
You're not here with me
You never said goodbye
Someone tell me why
Did you have to go
And leave my world so cold

Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

But you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
But you are not alone

'Lone, 'lone
Why, 'lone

Just the other night
I thought I heard you cry
Asking me to come
And hold you in my arms
I can hear your prayers
Your burdens I will bear
But first I need your hand
Then forever can begin

Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
For you are not alone

Whisper three words and I'll come runnin'
And girl you know that I'll be there
I'll be there

You are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart

For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart

For you are not alone...

2009-07-07T05:35:00.000-07:00

I hate myself....just who the hell do i think i am....i am nobody...i am just an idiot....why couldn't i let go of you...why am i still not giving up??!!why?it is really hard to let go someone you like for a long time...it is even hard to accept the one you love so much rejected you but its how the cycle goes...you can't really find someone you love and at the same time she is in love with you...its really hard....
I had been staying up at night for 3days and 3nights of thinking should i let go of you...should i give up upon you but everytime i think of you...my heart will be aching...i want to cry..i really do but i couldn't...i don't know why and i just couldn't do it...is it the punishment i got from confessing to you?is it?
Please forgive me being a jerk...Please forgive me being an idiot...Please forgive me being selfish...SORRY...PLEASE FORGIVE ME MAKING YOU TROUBLED...SORRY..sorry

2009-07-06T02:58:00.001-07:00

i know i am being selfish...i know i am being stubborn...i know i am making you frustrated...I am here saying sorry and very sorry....i really don't know what to do...i hope everything could back to normal...n i wanted to take back everything i had said to you...but i couldn't...it's already happened...sorry...sorry...really sorry.....i'm really sorry

Answered.....and....Accepted...

2009-07-04T22:32:00.000-07:00

finally i got the answer i waited for 6 years....until now my mind is still going blank....and what u had said is keep on going on and on....i was frustrated by it and wanted to forget it but i can't......it's been 6 years i had a crush on you....and needed only a few seconds to crush my hope for you and me being together.....i think that's how the way goes....and you only treated as your friend and i accepted that...and hoping for a better future friendship between you and me but i wouldn't just give up my hope.....until the time comes i will again tell you how i feel and will keep on waiting for that time to come....at the mean time,let's us just be friend and let's achieve our dreams together...
i will always be here when you needed me,i will always pray for your happiness,i will always care for you.......because I LOVE YOU

I am Useless

2009-07-03T19:08:00.000-07:00

I am Useless............

Am I Overboarding?

2009-07-02T06:56:00.000-07:00

Am i going overboard?if i am then i should stop what i am doing now....i should have really tell you how i feel when u asked....i should shout it out when i got the chance....god has yet gave me a chance to confess but i didn't appreciate that chance but wasted it.....i am a moron...i am stupid....i am an idiot....i am so useless....so coward...........and where did my courage gone to.....i love you...i love you...i love you....I LOVE YOU...those 3 words are so hard to say....i want to say it to you....i want to be with you....i want to hold your hand.....i want to make you happy....i want to see your smile everyday.....for so many years i had a crush on you.....I LOVE YOU....I REALLY MEAN IT........

DELL STUDIO 1555

2009-07-01T07:20:00.000-07:00

COLOR OPTIONS

Flamingo Pink Colour with Black U-Trim

PROCESSOR

Intel® Core™ 2 Duo Processor T6400 (2GHz/ 800 FSB/ 2MB Cache)

OPERATING SYSTEM

Genuine Windows Vista(R) Home Premium SP1 32 bit (English)

HD DISPLAY

15.6 " 720p WLED (1366x768) Display with TrueLife(TM) w/Camera

MEMORY

2GB (2X1GB) DDR2 SDRAM Memory

4GB Memory
Increasing the amount of memory is an easy way to improve performance

HARD DRIVE

500GB SATA Hard Drive

OPTICAL DRIVE

Slot Load 8X DVD+/-RW Drive with DVD+R double layer write capability

VIDEO CARD

512MB ATI Mobility Radeon HD 4570

AUDIO SOLUTION

Integrated Stereo Sound with Subwoofer

BATTERIES

6-cell Lithium Ion Primary Battery

WIRELESS NETWORK CARD

Intel(R) WiFi Link 5100 (802.11a/g/n) Half Mini-card (MY)

BLUETOOTH

Dell(TM) Wireless 370 Bluetooth Module (MY)

KEYBOARD

Dell(TM) Keyboard with Touchpad (English)

PALMREST OPTION

Silver Palmrest

Accessorise My Dell

CARRYING CASES

No Case

Protect My Dell

WARRANTY & SERVICE

1 Yr Ltd Hardware Warranty, InHome Service after Remote Diagnosis

DATASAFE BACKUP SERVICE

Dell Online Backup 2GB

SOFTWARE

Microsoft® Works (Including Microsoft®Office Home & Student 2007 60 Days Trial Pre-installed)

SECURITY SOFTWARE

McAfee(R) Security Center 10 (Multi Language) - 30 days

ALSO INCLUDED WITH YOUR SYSTEM

BASE SYSTEM

Base System

Item Included in the System

Integrated Fast Ethernet 10/100/1000

Item Included in the System

34mm ExpressCard Slot, (DOES NOT SUPPORT PC CARDS)

Item Included in the System

Mod Specs Info (Malaysia)

Item Included in the System

Power Cord (MY/SG/HK)

Item Included in the System

Dell(TM) PC-Restore Included

Item Included in the System

Info Mod

Item Included in the System

Regulatory Label

Label Options

Intel(R) Centrino(R) processor Technology Label

Dell Service: Remark

Dell's Terms and Conditions apply

Dell Service: Remark

Great Technical Tips & Information available 24x7 at http://support.ap.dell.com

Dell Service: Remark

Laptop Batteries Carry One Year Warranty Only From Invoice Date

Delivery Charges

Inspiron(TM) Delivery Charges (West Malaysia)

Freight Charges

Studio-NB Handling & Insurance Charges(Malaysia)

Ctl 1st

LTO 1

Camera

Integrated 2.0 Mega Pixel Web Cam

I am Useless.....

2009-06-30T00:03:00.000-07:00

i am useless.......that's all i can say.......

Time to Stop All These Nonsense Once and For All

2009-06-26T02:18:00.000-07:00

It's time to stop all the nonsense going in my head now....i think it's should be the time i start to chase my dream beforehead than confessing how i feel about you....haha...maybe that sounds even more ridiculous...but after all,i am ridiculous...u can never understand what is my next step...haha...nothing i can do now but just praying for you....pray for your wellness,pray for your happiness,pray for your lucks....haha...n after i'm successfully chased my dream.....i will...i promise to the god...i will confess to you....even you have had a family or a someone you like....i will....i will still pray for you and love you....

That's All I Can,That's All I Have

2009-06-25T00:55:00.000-07:00

Love is all I have,and is all I care,
Patience is all I have,and is all I can do,
Time is all I have,and is all I can wait,
Words is all I have,and is all I have to take your heart away,
That's all I can,That's all I have
I Love You.....

Confusing Love

2009-06-20T06:38:00.000-07:00

Where to begin?well,its kinda ridiculous,don't you think?for the whole time,i tell myself it is just an illusion but it ends up it isn't...and actually it's real,so real that even i was scared and frigtened,i really want to run away...run away from reality...run away from you....so far away from this world so that i can take this secret feeling with me until the end....but i can't...i can't because i am a coward....
I hate to amit anything that i hate to amit especially when it comes to my feeling but this stupid feeling had disturbed or should i say bothering me from days to days,time to time,seconds to seconds....I had already admire you for many years,i like you,i like you,my heart keep telling me that non-stop....
Should i just tell you how i feel or still conceive it inside me until the time i am no longer belong to the world?i don't want to hurt your feelings,i don't want to make you sad,i want to see your smile all the times,i want you to be happy at all times,it is so confusing....for so many years i know you,almost all the things about you i had known but did not act upon it....i had also gave in so many chances that i could just spill out how do i feel about you but i didn't....
I hope God really does exist so that he could give me the courage to tell you how i feel....does he really exist?does he not?nobody can answer me....nodody.....

Why am i feeling so weak......

2009-06-19T07:01:00.000-07:00

its another day of living,sun shine through the window,wind blows through my face,have we all ever wondering how lucky we are to be able enjoy our life and live on earth for another day?
we human had make matters worse until now pollutions are still an issue to us human...everyday human produces so much rubbish and producing so much wasted gases...polluting the air,polluting the sea,polluting the whole environment we are living in....spoiling the future for our grandchildren
it is not late for us to react i know...but they are only a small portion of people who aware of that,there is still so many people on Earth and yet they don't realize about it...................

Finally~

2009-06-16T01:30:00.001-07:00

Finally my toolbox is here.....woohoo~
first of all,this tool box looks like a bloody stupid security box.....and a lot of my colleagues agree that....
second,tools inside that box is not really complete but just some basic engineer tools we need to use in our future.....
third,its a security box comes with a lousy lock....i felt so unsecure......
After all,i will still give it a credit on that box not the tools...i can find some better tools than this in a hardware shop.....and this tool box cost me RM1,200.....jeez~

Haiz...hot day....happy day....jealous day....

2009-05-31T07:19:00.000-07:00

today is a damn hot day but it is also a happy and yet a day for jealousy......

i was happy today is because i am able to see one of my dream car just in front of me that's R-35

and what make me jealous is my friend Tomiya has a new ride which is also my dream car but he got it before me i was JEALOUS.....http://tomiyajdmtyte.blogspot.com/.......but still i am here to congrats him....DAMN.....i hope he read this.....AH~~~~~TOMIYA~~~~~~

My Drean Iswara Aeroback

2009-05-25T03:44:00.000-07:00

Maybe you guys think i am crazy or dreaming but i am really planning to turn
my very own old iswara into like what i sketched....although without tyres and
rims...(sorry,still not yet master that yet)
Specs i would like to dump into this car....first thing first(i will turn this car into RWD)
-16V 4a-ge(HKS supercharged-maybe second hand)
-Tien HA Hi-Low Suspension(adjustables)
-17" rims
-enhanced brake pads front 4 pots, rear 6 pots
-carbon fiber hood, spoiler, mirrors
-bucket seats
-custom made body kits as above showed
-enhanced body frame/chassis
-enhanced intercooler/radiator
-enhanced air filter
-enhanced intake/exhaust manifold
-enhanced transmission system and clutch kits
-enhanced ECU
-enhanced electrical box
-custom made exhaust pipe and tip
-trueno dashboard(maybe)
-Speedo rev meter
-lastly maybe a gps system or screen in my since i lost everytime
please do comment on this...i will kindly or sincerely accept any kinds of comments
and please do tell me the price if i want to fulfill my dream....haha...thank you

MY COLLEGE HAS A BRAND NEW DYNAMOMETER!!!!!!!!!!

2009-05-23T06:36:00.000-07:00

This is the brand new dynamometer my college brought in last week...
it looked like this when it reached our college and few workers were
there to clean them up....after a week....workers are assembling it and
still...the project is not yet done but i guess it will finish soon...to whoever
planning to enter or already decided to go into TOC/THE OTOMOTIF
COLLEGE....to study DMS/DIPLOMA for MOTOR SPORTS...you're lucky...^^

Malaysian Style of Monral n LRT

2009-05-19T04:43:00.000-07:00

Believe or not...malaysian likes to rush into the lrt or monoral cabin before people can go out...it happens everyday when i was riding in a monoral....and i see this kind of situation everytime...people doesn't let us to go out and they keep on stepping inside the cabin pushing us backward..it is like a warzone in between...damn!!!one time,i was so angry i shouted at those people and told them to back off so that we people inside could get out...two bloody stupid malay didn't listen to what i said kept pushig his way inside....as a reaction i pushed and both of them fell down outside the cabin and i was out...and the door was closed...SAYONARA!!BYEBYE!!TRAIN....i said...those two stared at me like wanted to start a fight but beside me was a friend,kinda tall,big in size,so they just stood up and wait for another train again...damn,i know some of you are in a hurry but please think of others before,we are too,in a hurry to schools,offices,colleges...although i knew i did wrong in the first place but please use the brain before you act...you need to let the people out,so that there is space for you people to come in....another thing i don't like is some people doesn't like to give away their seat to people who need it more...like old people...haih...i hope malaysian can change their style by travelling in a lrt or monoral or even ktm...pretty please..

am i going to pass or fail....

2009-05-15T03:44:00.000-07:00

....i really not in the mood today...maybe its because of the exam i took today...or i am being a paranoid again....today's exam should be a piece of cake to me but i had screwed up in the end...maybe it was too easy that's why i made so much of mistakes....i was moody from the time i finished the exam until now....not even knowing what should i do next....am i being cocky again???if i am...please let me know....

UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NO WAY!!!!!!!!

2009-05-13T05:16:00.000-07:00

oh....no....no...no...no...no...no,damn...how could this be happening....what happened?!!!i am the only one who made into final?!!
story goes like this....last week i was having a competition or should i say an elimination test with my friends...it was simple yet confusing i should say....but what happened was i was the only one to make into the final.....N-O-W-A-Y.....my friends were like shocked including me...all those students who made into final are seniors....damn...now i am damn confuse @.@

2009-05-11T06:36:00.000-07:00

damn...i'm screwed up...promising myself i am gonna done my valve clearance adjustment in about 4 minutes but ended up i used up more than that...i used approximately about 7 minutes to finish everything....i was so embarassed telling the whole i was going to do it under 4 minutes but surprisingly no one was laughing at me...haiz...embarassment...

i don't know whether you already read my message or not but i really hope that you at least give me an answer or response telling me how do you feel about what i told you.....

2009-05-09T06:38:00.000-07:00

Today i was working a again in alfa romeo again for the
internship thingy.....and we suddenly came
across this....
Happy Thing:we came across with a lamborghini Murcielago ....nice!!!
Sad Thing:a wira crashed with the virgin lady(Brera).....oil tank damped :(

2009-05-08T06:17:00.000-07:00

today, i got to work as an intern in an alpha romeo workshop...it was fun...to know a lot of new people today....like the boss there called Morgan...his assistant...Dayalan....those are fun guys to talk with and work with...haha...this is the car i like the most...Alpha Romeo Breva...

2009-05-07T02:18:00.000-07:00

Rain was dropping from the sky....like tears dropping from my eyes....as i was sitting in front of a window,watching shadows of people running with an umbrella rushing through the streets....images of you and your smile rushed into my head,into my mind....i couldn't control it...it felt like riding a memory speed train,watching and looking at your images made my heart broke....i had tried and tried but i couldn't stop....i really want to tell you the words that i am going to say,but i couldn't because of my nervousness and cowardness....as time goes by....week by week...day by day...second by second...my heart broke deeper,deeper,deeper and deeper....because of looking at you,i could'nt do anything except run away....maybe running away from you would not be a bad idea.....maybe running away from this cruel world would not be a bad idea....i still can hear your voice,your laughter....i still can see your smile,your face.....all the time i want to tell you about how i feel about you but i didn't get the chance to....if...if ever the God give me a chance to confront to you..i will take it..and split everything out what i had wrote here....God,please protect the one i love,the one i care,the one that i want to live with.............

I Love You,
three simple words yet hard to say,
to the one i love,to the one i care,
this is what i want to say,
I Love You,
no matter how long does it take,
i will still wait for your answer,
i will still be here for you,the only one to be by my side,
I Love You,
forever it will be,forever it will take,
until the sea never touches the sand,
until the sky touches the ground,
i will still Love You....

2009-05-06T04:54:00.000-07:00

Today our group had the chance on disambling an engine and of cause it is a very new
experience to us...we disambled everything on the engine and analyze what is all the
parts called...after that we were having our moral class and everyone was sleeping in the
class and that stupid lecturer just kept blah...blah...blah all the way....DAMN

My Personality,is it really true?!!

2009-05-02T23:48:00.000-07:00

ENFJ: "Pedagogue". Outstanding leader of groups. Can be aggressive at helping others to be the best that they can be. 5% of the total population.

ENFP "Journalist". These people love novelty and surprises. They are big on emotions and expression. Life is an exciting drama. They are good at sales, advertising, politics, and acting. 5% of the total population.

ENTJ: "Field Marshall". The basic driving force and need is to lead. Tend to seek a position of responsibility and enjoys being an executive. 5% of the total population.

ENTP: "Inventor". Enthusiastic interest in everything and always sensitive to possibilities. Non-conformist and innovative. 5% of the total population.

ESFJ: "Seller". Most sociable of all types. Outstanding host or hostesses. They may be dependent, first on parents and later on spouses. They excel in service occupations involving personal contact. 13% of the total population.

ESFP: "Entertainer". Radiates attractive warmth and optimism. Smooth, witty, charming, clever. Fun to be with. Very generous. They make good performers, they like public relations, and they love the phone. 13% of the total population.

ESTJ: "Administrator". Much in touch with the external environment. These are responsible mates and parents and are loyal to the workplace. They are realistic, down-to-earth, orderly, and love tradition. They often find themselves joining civic clubs! 13% of the total population

ESTP "Promoter": These are action-oriented people, often sophisticated, sometimes ruthless -- our "James Bonds." As mates, they are exciting and charming, but they have trouble with commitment. They make good promoters, entrepreneurs, and con artists. 13% of the total population.

INFJ: "Author". Strong drive and enjoyment to help others. Complex personality. 1% of the total population. These are serious students and workers who really want to contribute. They are private and easily hurt. They make good spouses, but tend to be physically reserved. People often think they are psychic. They make good therapists, general practitioners, ministers, and so on.

INFP: "Questor". These people are idealistic, self-sacrificing, and somewhat cool or reserved. They are very family and home oriented, but don't relax well. High capacity for caring. High sense of honor derived from internal values. 1% of the total population.

INTJ: "Scientist". Most self-confident and pragmatic of all the types. Decisions come very easily. These are the most independent of all types. They love logic and ideas and are drawn to scientific research. They can be rather single-minded, though.. 1% of the total population.

INTP: "Architect". Greatest precision in thought and language. Can readily discern contradictions and inconsistencies. They are good at logic and math and make good philosophers and theoretical scientists, but not writers or salespeople. 1% of the total population.

ISFJ: "Conservator". These people are service and work oriented - very loyal. They may suffer from fatigue and tend to be attracted to troublemakers. They are good nurses, teachers, secretaries, general practitioners, librarians, middle managers, and housekeepers. 6% of the total population.

ISFP: "Artist". Interested in the fine arts. Expression primarily through action or art form. They are shy and retiring, and are not talkative,. They are not big on commitment. 5% of the total population.

ISTJ "Trustee" These are dependable pillars of strength. They often try to reform their mates and other people. They make good bank examiners, auditors, accountants, and phys. ed. teachers, and boy or girl scouts! 6% of the total population.

ISTP: "Artisan". These people are action-oriented and fearless, and crave excitement. They are impulsive and dangerous to stop. They often like tools, instruments, and weapons, and often become technical experts. They are not interested in communications and are often incorrectly diagnosed as dyslexic or hyperactive. 5% of the total population.

if you want to find out what kind of personality you have or you are check this out http://www.personalitytest.net/

2009-05-02T07:01:00.000-07:00

Where is the justice when we need it,
Where is the love when we need it,
Where is the trust when we need it,
Where is the God when we need Him...
Where is what we going to believe???
The world is a big,lousy and unfair place we human live in....criminals are everywhere,pollutions are everywhere,wars are everywhere,hungers are everywhere,and even illness are now in everywhere....we human should be live in a peace and quiet place on the planet Earth but now what we are facing is nothing like that....human themselves are killing each others and being selfish,only think for themselves....let me ask a question...do anyone here have ever consider of saving others before saving themselves in an accident or even a car crash?i believe most of you say 'NO'....even myself amit i said 'NO' to whoever ask me this question but now i think it clearly and deeply on this question...actually what its meant is are you a selfish person or you are a person who consider of others and consider of whatever or whoever is around you....i think its now the time for us HUMAN to act...we should stand up and forget who are you or where you come from...no matter what your skin colour is...we should stand up and save this planet at once...stop all the wars,stop all the pollutions,stop all the crminals act...and save our only home EARTH!!!

Scariest Moment =.=

2009-04-30T05:36:00.000-07:00

today i was having practical exam and before the exam started,our instructor came into class and gave us a surprise by telling us only 5 people in the class pass yesterday paper and one of us got only 47 marks (full mark on our theory exam is 80 marks) and we need to get at least 70-80 marks to guarantee we pass our overall exam....and my heart was going to pump out while waiting for my instructor to call out those who pass the exam...and you know what...i pass....and i was so happy,although this is my first exam as a college student but still i am happy...

EXAM SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-04-29T05:50:00.000-07:00

man,today,i was pissed by doing silly mistakes in my exam,i think i wasn't concentrating on my paper...but i swore i had put a 100% efford on it or maybe it is still not enough...i will try to put more efford on my exam and studies...full boost 1000%....woohooo~...haha,tomorrow will be a practical test and it contains 70% of our marks in our exam,man...hope i will get through it...i can't screw up now...never(NEVER)!!!

2009-04-27T23:38:00.000-07:00

very good afternoon to everyone,today i will introduce my fellow classmates that i recently made in my college,these are my friends,aren't they funny...(pointing middle fingers everywhere)...these photoes were taken by one of my friends and well,the most front,counting from left,the third person,his name is Mohammad,he is kinda like quiet guy and we thought he is anti-social...the indian guy from behind pointing double middle finger,his name is Dev,he is funny in a lot of ways...and on the top most picture who is sleeping in the class,his name is Vicky...he was planning to do a funny middle finger posting but my friend just couldn't wait and snapshot it....want to know who is the one who posting funny post in the middle of the picture?you never want to know...

Mr. Yoong's GTR-33

2009-04-26T05:15:00.000-07:00

today i went to a big,empty carpark near my house to watch a drift show...but nothing interested me because all of the cars were old school style...but suddenly out of nowhere a GTR-33 showed up and i was shocked and my friends too were shocked by looking a this monster...

DRIFTING

2009-04-24T22:31:00.000-07:00

the word 'DRIFTING' came to me when i was 17yrs old when i were just a high school student,my friends who sitting beside me were talking about motorsports related stuff everyday and sometime they would talk about latest sports car models and i was influenced by them,i started to find informations about motorsports like drifting,F1,and others but what i found out most interesting was 'DRIFTING'....DRIFTING meant by sliding your car into a corner with great speed...by doing that you actually can enter and exit a corner faster but also it is dangerous to do that...it is because by sliding into corner with high speed you need have a great control on your car and your car need to have a good stability to achieve that...besides that not every car can drift...only RWD or REAR WHEEL DRIVE car can drift,it is because RWD car can produce more torque to the tyres and allowing the tyres to spin in high revolution allow you to drift....for more information just click on http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drifting_(motorsport)...