Forcing a Smile Out of Depression

I have been thru really rough days for a year now. I had this illness so called "Zhu Mou Dan" for a year. And feeling better for these few weeks after meeting with an old lady who is master in this.

Now my family is on a really hectic situation. One of my father's friends had owed my father for a lot of money which is now even asking us to lend her money, making us even more hectic. Not only one of my father's friend owed my father's money but a lot of them did too. Some were from business, some were personal reason. All of them giving excuses by saying they were broke but yet they asked us again n again to lend our money. What is the meaning of this?God has yet again to test our family and given us for another tough task.

My father now is really broke and being as his son, i really dunno what to do, i can't help but just standing aside watching both my parents suffer. Scratching their head out of idea to think of any possible ways to get our money back except by borrowing any other's money. I had asked a few shops whether they need any part time jobers but all were just empty hopes. Being the eldest son in the family, what can i do?what can i do to help my family?i think of stopping the college a lot of time, but now i can't even find a part time job not even talking about a full time job...

God is really giving our family a hard time and me a hard time. But this will not break our family apart, i had make up my mind to give my best to find a job n earn money from that until my internship starts. I hope my dear friends out there don't face problem like mine, hope for the best, think of the best, give out the best....

i need to be the TOP DOG!!!!

sometime...v just need a chance to make it big....

continue or drop out?

i have asking this question to myself recently...should i continue my study or drop out from my college and work now?
since my dad's business is going on downpour and yet people is owing him tonnes of debts....what should i do? i really had no idea now...
everyday i keep a smile on my face so that my friends would not know that i am troubled,and until now i am still weak...i am weak...

Time to reconsider what is important to me, what motivates me, and what mean everything for me in my life....
Time to wake up, time to think, time to work hard, in order not to regret for the rest of my life...
Never going to be my old self again, i will be stronger and stronger everytime i falls and fails, i will never going to repeat my mistake again, i am not my oldself, i am reborn...
I broke from my old shell to become the new me, right i am the new person...

dream is a dream, nothing more than that, once u wake up from the dream, u are back to the reality and that's when u face everything real.......

damn...GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!!

DAMN!!!!GET OUT OF MY MIND ALREADY....just make it stop...i don't to torture myself anymore....i am trying another way to try to get u out of my mind....but i just can't because i had done so wrong...and making u unhappy...sorry...sorry...really am sorry....could u plz forgive me?
if there is a thing that can make everything change back to normal i would sacrifice myself for it, in order to make you to be happy again and not treating me so coldly....
i am just too weak to accept the fact that we can't be friend anymore...for so long, from the day we known each other.....until now, i can't lose a friend like you...please, would you please forgive me?i am really regret and here sincerely apologize to you....i am sorry..sorry