haih...darn it....still can't figure it out y am i so bored n lifeless....nah,just leave it...i guess when i am back to my college next week, i will get even boring....
i have been thinking y am i so insist on thinking on something which seems so far away from me n keep dreaming about it...is it because it really hit me n sunk into my heart or it is just a way for me to motivate my poor little soul??i wonder....
really...who would have think about something that is so impossible to happen n yet still having hope for it...maybe i am too stupid enough to understand the meaning of 'giving up'...i have a rock heart will n my parents n friends knew that....haih....i am stupid...stupid....
feeling sad for myself n also feeling tired...tired of keep making fake smiles...tired of keep trying persuade my dream...tired of doing things i hate to...just tired of everything now...feeling like want to lock myself from the world n stay lonely for a while...my dream seems so far away from me now...will i ever get the dream i dreamt for n will i ever never felt like this anymore???

it is really hard to do this alone...i know it yet i want to do it...this is so senseless...am i??

after so long,y am i still remember the incident i dun want to...y do i still keep dreaming about it??WHY!!!i shouted in my heart all the time...it hurt but yet it hurt even more when seeing my dream fade away....i hate this feeling...I HATE IT!!!i want it to go away....please///

It's a really lonely world here...with just only me n myself locking in the bottom of eternity....